Gross #21 (Beautiful)

Miss Coral Rose: You are so beautiful.
Collin: Yeah, but I'm ugly on the inside.

Gross #20 (Butthole Hands)

The other day, I came straight to work the home of some dude I slept with. I asked a friend to come smell me because I was pretty sure I smelled like butthole, but she said I smelled fine. Then I realized it was my hands. My hands smelled so much like butthole.

I spent the entire day trying to wash my hands vigorously enough to get rid of the smell of butthole. Toward the end of the day, I accidentally put my hand near somebody's face and she started to cough a lot, but politely avoided mentioning it.

The lady doth toot too much, methinks.

I sent this text message to a friend today.