Me, on New Years Eve.

I began the night with so very much hope. I had even put on my sparkly tights.


After going to a few parties and keeping the drinking to a minimum (oh, look, I am an adult) I spent midnight by myself at a party because I was unable to find the people I was supposed to be meeting there. Instead of feeling disappointed or lonely, I felt amazing. As all the strangers surrounding me sucked face, I looked up at the fireworks going off and enjoyed the snow falling all around me. 


This is my year! And I can be whoever I want! And I'm doing great! Praise to the Universe!


Then I found my friends, knocked back all the champagne I could get my hands on, and the night turned.


Here's what I have been able to piece together:


I stole a bunch of tangerines, then gave pieces to everyone I ran into and encouraged them to play my new favorite game: spitting seeds at people. This began at the first party, with the snow machine, so that the seeds blended in with the snow, so no one really noticed.


Then I went to a club where I fell in love with a man who was wearing a backpack and doing the "I'm dancing with the whole party" dance--where you get up on a chair/table/what-have-you. I kept calling him my boyfriend, and I got up on a table next to him to dance with him. 


Ended up on a roof overlooking downtown. Alternated between laughing at people falling in the street and spitting more seeds at the tops of people's heads. 


Later, while still on the roof, decided that I would climb on top of a higher roof. A few people have told me that I was sliding in my heels and tights down the side of the roof and into a tree, then almost hit a barbed wire fence before realizing that the roof I wanted to climb on was a good twenty feet out of my reach. I kept yelling, "I got this."


Somehow did not die and ended up on the roof where the party was once again. I didn't really recognize anyone so when I got another orange I started spitting seeds at these girls who were two feet in front of me. They, naturally, kept turning around and yelling at me. So I put another piece of tangerine in my mouth and chewed it for a second, then spit the whole piece at one girl's exposed back.


And after that, well, I have no idea really. But my left knee doesn't work anymore.

Weapon of Choice.