Airplane (Things I Hate)

I usually prefer to talk about how I'm gross and leave hate to other people, but I am on an airplane, so here is a list of things I hate (airplane wifi is not a thing I hate):

1. This one guy who is wearing the dumbest hat. It's like a beret, but it's puffy around the sides, flat on top, and kind of rolls up in the back.
2. His dumb kid! This kid was, like, demanding math problems from his awful dad. Shut up! Math is the worst!
3. The dumb math problems he actually gave his kid. He said "2+2," and the kid was like "THAT'S EASY, give me a hard one," and he said "what's half of 2+2?" And the kid said 2, and he said no, and then the kid said 1, and he said no again, and then then he said "what's half of 2?" and the kid said 1, and he said "plus 2?" and the kid said 2, and he said "no," and the kid said 3, and he said "FINALLY you got it." Way to go, your dumb kid is going to be as confused about math as he is obnoxious.
4. This guy's accent.
5. The guy sitting behind me who started carefully telling his kid that the stewards and stewardesses are the teachers, and we have to listen to our teachers. You shut up too, that is such a dumb thing to think you need to tell your kid!
6. The fact that when a steward came by, this fucking dad stopped him to tell him about the dumb thing he just told his kid.
7. The fact that this steward actually used to be a teacher.
8. The fact that the steward was REALLY into it.
9. The fact that this guy asked him if he likes being a steward better than he likes teaching, and was so into the answer, which was yes.
10. The fact that the steward got so into this little farce he has been talking to them throughout the whole flight.
11. The fact that the steward said "Are you ready to go to space? Want to stop by the moon and see what's going on there?"
12. The fact that the steward told the kid that if he was good he would give him a special treat, and then came back five minutes later and said "are you ready for your special treat?" like an old pervert.
13. The fact that I totally missed what the special treat was. I bet it was cookies.
14. The little portable DVD players this guy and his kid are both watching without headphones.
15. The crazy-faced crazy lady stewardess who looked completely fucking scandalized when I asked her if I could get past her to go to the bathroom.
16. Racism.
17. Genocide.