Gross #7 (or: The Daily Schedule of An Unemployed University Graduate: An Alternate Perspective)

I woke up at 11:00 AM. I hadn't slept that long, but I discovered that I had five responses to drunken texts (sexts) I sent between 4:00 and 5:00 AM last night. I was too interested in responding to them to sleep anymore, so I got up.

I spent a few hours looking at shit on the internet, and then I ate some rice and beans. I have had two meals today: rice and beans, and then rice and beans and fish sticks. Fish sticks are awesome.

I tried to read Watchmen (the comic book series), but I passed out on the couch instead. I woke up when Lisa texted me a picture of the strip of paper she used to wax her vagina. I thought it was a pretty cool drawing for a second. I wondered how her vagina-wax would look in a gallery. I also noticed it looked an awful lot like some drawings she made with plaster and hair. Cool.

I spent about an hour figuring out a way to text message a guy I went on a date with last night without seeming desperate. Eventually, I settled on something about music. Then I just waited around for a response. Just for the record, he took 22 minutes to respond.

Then I read some more Watchmen. I noticed that every line on Doctor Manhattan's body is connected to parallel, horizontal hatchmarks, except for his penis and ballsack, which are just two simple lines. Maybe the artist was trying to not overdo the detail, especially because penises did not turn up in comics very often in the '80s (and still don't), but they seem weirdly prominent instead because they're the only part of his body that looks like that, and it makes them look like they're glowing. I mean, he gets progressively more naked as he becomes less connected to his humanity, so maybe his dick is actually supposed to look like it's on fire? Also, his ballsack and penis are perfectly symmetrical, which seems weird. Whose ballsack is symmetrical like that? And also, is he supposed to be circumcised or not? I guess not. Maybe I am thinking about the wrong things here. All I'm saying is, for a comic book about penises, Watchmen could use more penises.

After showering, I went back to reading Watchmen, but I fell asleep again. After I woke up, I ate my second meal. Fish sticks are so awesome, why don't I eat more fish sticks?

I tried to get almost everyone I know in this city to hang out with me, but they were either at Austin City Limits, or at work. People I didn't text message include: people I only know because I have had sex with them, wanted to have sex with them, or still want to have sex with them. I sat around and helped Lisa figure out (via text message) how to say that she no longer has hair on her vagina in Spanish. She has a Mexican secret admirer at work, so I figure she's trying to make small-talk. Hola! Come estas? Ya no tengo pelo entre mis piernas.

I made a mix CD. I made another mix CD. At 11:00 PM I was feeling restless and decided I should get out of the house. I told Kristin, who is staying on my couch, and she decided to come with me, which I thought was cool, because she has a car. But then she seemed into walking, so I pretended I was into walking too. About three miles later, Kristin realized we had just walked three miles, and I realized she was actually into driving but pretended to be into walking because she thought I was into walking. Whoops and whoops.

When I got here, I considered ordering a beer, but they don't sell any. I realized this is the first day I haven't had any beer or other alcohol in... Well, I don't know. I don't want to know.

It's 2:00 AM, Kristin is asleep on our table, and I am more or less just starting my day.